One day at a Time

Well I just got back from Easter break. I have to admit it was the most difficult trip home I have ever had. Telling people that you not only can't get the finances to attend the school you waited so long to go to for another year, but that even if you could get the finances you won't be able to make it academically is probably one of the most embarrassing, disappointing, and depressing things you could possibly do. Yes there are much worse things, and I know that, but it still doesn't take away the fact that it just sucks. To see their faces as I explained the situation and what my plan B was anything but fun. These people prayed for me, and kept me encouraged for the last 3-4 years that I would make it to MVNU and do great. And if I dig deep and really think about it, I have always had that feeling that I wouldn't be graduating from MVNU. I just never wanted to face it. But the plus is, I get to be with my man:) I firmly believe that God wanted me at the Naz this year to get life experience I couldn't get anywhere else, and I also believe that God knows me better than I know myself. I think he knew that I would always wonder if I could make it at a University, and this year I can confidently say that I tried with everything I had. After all those years of people telling me I wouldn't make it at a big university, I have to admit that they were right. But honestly, I'm okay with that. Because I took a risk with the odds against me and tried my hardest. I got to know some amazing people along the way and learn a lot of life lessons. I don't ever want to have to tell my future children that I never took a risk or didn't go somewhere or do something because I was afraid of failure. God has a lot to teach us when we fail, and I would rather fail and know I tried my hardest, than wonder for the rest of my life if I could do it.

And even though things are still kind of uncertain right now, I am slowly starting to be okay with that. I am just trusting that God is guiding my every step and showing me his will for my life daily. And in light of that, there are two things I am certain of. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior and he has called me into youth/childrens ministry. And that is all I need to know. Gods got it so I'm just going to let him do his thing.

Peace and Blessings
Red